day 9

one of these days & these boots, i think, when i remember matthew aizenstadt in the highschool cafeteria after a thre year dissapearance. typewriter tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tip tippta aye tip ta tip ta tip ta aye, could be my morning excersize, yoga, a walk to the curb (no mail) and backwards. calm down oldbaoy, i'd like to think but he doesn't need it. he's happy. they're all happy and they're all hapy without me and maybe they might want to get coffee or they would get coffee if i wanted them to, too, but some of them wouldn't ask unless i asked first and they don't need me. they're happy and they don't owe me. that'sa good thing. its a good thing being happy like a cool pillow. i have the cats and they owe me a lot. i have all the receipts and the film negatives which nothing ever happens to. they just either get lost or they don't and they just stay there. a lot like matt aizenstadt, i think. matt aizenstadt and his fishbowl metaphor and his girlfriend lindsay and not speaking anymore and the higschool assembly third row and the sunroom couch once and in the car once driving with the heat on and the windows rolled down, the insistence that it was always this way and it had to be this way. the thinking of it as a new thing & curious.