your thoughts about other people's thoughts about you
are not important, jarva
at least not real enough to live in & why
should you be seeing maria looking down & sideways & across at you
full of disappointment
when she isn't even there
& you could call her on the phone
but you don't , do you---
lets focus on the real issues.
if you think about it
gilbert lost a leg because you imagined him to be fine
& he wasn't,
(while on the other 3 hand-like feet you thought he had wet tail & was going to die
within 72 hours) but he doesn't & he didn't die
because you found him & you cared for him
(through all this) discovering the quantum level,
where you dreamed your father in the kitchen putting gilbert into a small trash can
and in the dream you got there in time to save him from this awful fate-
& in the waking life your father almost banned gilbert from the house
& you thought you were safe & that this was the dreams premonition
coming up
& blowing over
but then you went away for maybe 4 days and nobody told you
that gilbert was missing & you assumed he was fine & then
you came back and found him
half dead in the plastic blue trash bin next to his cage
(where you hate to leave him)
\
which he must have escaped from & by some freak accident
or predestined event, landed in the empty bin
& his tail was wet from urine, his back leg was missing still
& all the horrors of your mind roared & your dreams were fevered nightmares
of black hamsters growing blacker & smaller in the corner of some dark lit den
but these dreams weren't real & did not come true
because you nursed & fed & cared for him the best you could
& he survived
& this is the important thing, jarva,
more than the imagining.
are not important, jarva
at least not real enough to live in & why
should you be seeing maria looking down & sideways & across at you
full of disappointment
when she isn't even there
& you could call her on the phone
but you don't , do you---
lets focus on the real issues.
if you think about it
gilbert lost a leg because you imagined him to be fine
& he wasn't,
(while on the other 3 hand-like feet you thought he had wet tail & was going to die
within 72 hours) but he doesn't & he didn't die
because you found him & you cared for him
(through all this) discovering the quantum level,
where you dreamed your father in the kitchen putting gilbert into a small trash can
and in the dream you got there in time to save him from this awful fate-
& in the waking life your father almost banned gilbert from the house
& you thought you were safe & that this was the dreams premonition
coming up
& blowing over
but then you went away for maybe 4 days and nobody told you
that gilbert was missing & you assumed he was fine & then
you came back and found him
half dead in the plastic blue trash bin next to his cage
(where you hate to leave him)
\
which he must have escaped from & by some freak accident
or predestined event, landed in the empty bin
& his tail was wet from urine, his back leg was missing still
& all the horrors of your mind roared & your dreams were fevered nightmares
of black hamsters growing blacker & smaller in the corner of some dark lit den
but these dreams weren't real & did not come true
because you nursed & fed & cared for him the best you could
& he survived
& this is the important thing, jarva,
more than the imagining.
