the first time i met you

we were both taking the elevator
& we were both going to the fourth floor,
only i got out at the third floor
because i was nervous, and also,
because i thought it was the fourth floor,
so i took the stairs and hoped
you thought i had some brief sort of business on the third floor.
once before that, i thought i'd seen you
at the grocery store & for some reason
i thought you'd seen me, too. i had headphones around my neck
when i got in the elevator
& you could hear paper back writer, because the music
was on loud and the headphones weren't very good.
you talked about guitars & the first time you'd heard the song.

then i watched you disappear into your mind for a minute.

you know, i read in this book that autistic children can't stand being touched because they become overwhelmed with emotion and it feels a lot like drowning but at that time i hadn't read it & i didn't know as much about dairy cows & i'd never even heard of a squeezing machine.