there's this picture

there's this picture of you and me i keep seeing
somehow
it makes me think that you are a happy person
who is secretly sad and that i am a sad person
who is secretly happy.

what is the worst way to hang,
roland? roland outside the bar is thinking of his father.

i hold his hand. i stroke his face. i would carry him
but he is too tall and i am not enough.
i need the help lifting my own body

over the wall to get into the bar where no one drinks,
the kitchen where no one has been cooking the appetizers
for years. there are two rooms full of metal chairs. the shadows
of chairs stacked one on the other dance with the flicker
of a bic lighter. i burn my thumb, say shit, and then burn it again.

you want to hold my hand, don't you and we can't see our faces in the dark.
yes, it was special. yes, i was happy. we sat in a sad crawl space
we had to dangle over a 12 foot drop to get into. a homeless man, a person
lives here. we sat in a sad crawl space together and i was so very happy.
we thought about breaking a window but didn't.